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Enjoy another wonderful text by Rev. Phil Smedsted, minister Emeritus of Oasis Rising Center

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Phil Smedstad's texts are one of the ways Oasis Rising Center supports members.

A Positive Path for Spiritual Living

Oasis Rising Center Spiritual Center
Oasis Rising Center 8125 West Sahara Avenue
Las Vegas, NV 89125
(702) 804-8189
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“How To Be Supportable”
`By Rev. Phillip Smedstad

Supportability has been one of my biggest lessons these past 30+ years.  As a child, my favorite hero was the Lone Ranger, which is how I saw myself.  As an adult, one of my favorite sayings was, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

As I was training to be a transformational teacher at an education company in Vancouver, BC, one of my jobs was to lead spiritual growth workshops.  That company had a well-developed system in place to always have an 8 to 12 person logistics team for each workshop.

When I arrived, one of my first questions was, “Why have a logistics team?  I can do it all myself.”  My teachers patiently explained that there were at least three reasons.  First, it was a great training ground for future workshop leaders.  Second, workshop participants deserved to have excellence in our presentation.  And last but not least, I deserved to be supported by a team so I could focus on teaching, instead of being concerned about air conditioning, registration, etc.

On Sunday, I told people that I wanted to encourage them to expand their “supportability.”  I shared with them that one definition of “support” is “to encourage someone who is meeting opposition or resistance.”  And where is it that we meet resistance?  We meet resistance from within ourselves.

Did you know that the original meaning of “jihad” was not “holy war” but rather “an inner overcoming?”  The idea, in Islam (at least in the Sufi tradition), was to confront and replace our ego beliefs, such as:

• There’s something wrong with me.
• There’s something missing in me.
• I can’t have the life I want.
• Life is a struggle.

When we confront these kinds of beliefs, we can replace them with ones which are spiritually true.
One evening not long ago, Lura and I decided that we needed a humorous diversion, so we re-watched the movie Bowfinger with Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy.  Murphy plays a movie star who is a member of an organization called “Mind Head” (which I assume is a spoof on Scientology).

Eddie walks around repeating the mantra K. I. T., K. I. T.  (This is short for “Keeping It Together.”)  He also affirms what Mind Head calls “happy premises.”  Happy premise number one is, “There are no aliens.”  Happy premise number two is, “I won’t spontaneously combust.”

As we laughed at the wonderful humor, we were reminded that we in Unity have some very happy premises (called Truth Principles).  For example:

• Fear isn’t real (because we aren’t our bodies).
• We are eternally one with God.
• Everyone will eventually “make it.”  (There is no eternal roasting oven.)

We are all growing in our awareness and experience of these Truths.  One way to describe our spiritual growth is that we go through certain stages.  The first stage is dependence.  The second stage is IN-dependence.  The third stage is INTER-dependence.

Since I’ve been on my path of transformation, it has mostly been a process of letting go of being independent, and being willing to become interdependent.  Along the way, two of the most rewarding (and scary to my ego) practices are:

• To be completely open and surrendered to God’s love.  And,
• To be open to receive love and support from all those people around me.

One of my favorite TV ads is a dad saying to his daughter, “Honey, you can do anything you want to do, but you can’t do it alone.”

We here at Unity are constantly grateful for all the support we receive from so many of you.  AND, it is also important to point out that what we teach here deserves to be supported.  Two or three of us could present some version of a Sunday Celebration each week, but it would be a poor substitute for what we can do when we all work together.

So, what does it take to be supportable?  First of all, do you all know (as I do) how it feels to be UN-supportable?  We are unsupportable when we are defensive, controlling,. and/or judgmental.  (And, by the way, under each of those states is fear of love.)

Doing everything alone might make us feel self-reliant, but we might also hear ourselves complain, “Why is there never enough time?”  Or, “Why am I the one who is responsible for everything?”

So, here is what it takes to be supportable:

• It takes a willingness to recognize when we are being controlling, defensive, or judgmental.
• It takes a willingness to know that any fear of love we have isn’t real.  (Lura and I used to regularly remind our students, “It was never the love that hurt.  It was always the lack of love that hurt.”)
• It takes practicing the thought, “I deserve to be supported in creating the life I want.”
• Finally, it takes a willingness to resign as the General Manager of the universe.

An article I came across last week has a few more excellent ideas about things to practice to become more supportable:

• Say yes to every offer of help.
• Make one request each day for help.  (Take a moment and imagine doing that.)
• Instead of asking the question, “Do I need help with this?”  Ask the question, “Would it support my spiritual growth to ask for help right now?”

At this point, I shared one cautionary note.  I said that most of here this at Unity have gone beyond “dependence” to being “independent.”  I said that if someone has not yet learned how to be self-sufficient, that step is crucial to spiritual growth.  Otherwise, “asking for help” can be asking to be saved instead of asking to be empowered.

If you realize that where you are is an experience of “IN-dependence,” I invite you to take the next step and practice being INTER-dependent.  This week, focus on asking for and receiving support, both from the Holy Spirit in you, and from all the people in your life.

You deserve to be supported and empowered in creating the life you want.